Dude looks like a lady!
by Synthera
Summary: When Alec puts his foot in his mouth, he has to step up in a way he never imagined.
1. Chapter 1

Dude looks like a lady

Author: Synthera

Author's note: This was inspired by a plot bunny over at NWP.

"Dude, you're the only one who will fit in it!" Biggs exclaimed exasperated.

Alec put both hands up in front of him, warding off Biggs' pressing attack. "No way man! There is no way I am putting THAT" he wrinkled his nose and pointed at the offending article "on. Get an X6 to do it. They always want to go on missions outside of TC."

Biggs shook his head. "Do you really want to put something this important on the line with one of them? Who would you recommend Alec? They don't have half the training we do. You and I both know that if this goes south, you would be much better at pulling it off." Alec continued to glare at him. His arms now crossed over his chest. "We need to do this tonight Alec."

Alec sighed. "Fine. But this doesn't get back to Max. And if you take pictures with my face in them, I'll kill you." A relieved expression crossed Biggs' face and Alec's eyes narrowed with an evil glint. "Slowly, using two hundred torture techniques, you know I can." He heard a gulp as Dalton backed up with his eyes wide. He had been watching the argument quietly from the corner.

Biggs' on the other hand laughed. "Okay man, just make sure you are downstairs in twenty minutes."

The two trangenics departed, leaving Alec to dress alone. He picked up the garment from the bed and groaned. "Me and my big mouth."

Flashback

Two days ago…

"So **_Alec_**." Max said slowly "You think it would be **BEST** for us females to stay inside TC." She gestured to the women sitting around the room. "To stay home during missions, to take care of the kids, make meals, and to not fight when the war comes." She placed her fists on her hips and tapped her foot rapidly.

Alec, seeing she was mad tried to back peddle. "Um, well, yeah. I mean we guys aren't any good with the childcare thing and there aren't that many females anyway. And if we want to keep our race alive..." He trailed off seeing he was just making the women even angrier. He switched tactics going for defensive. "Look, here's the deal, we have enough men and we can easily take care of ration runs and defense without the females." He looked to the other men for support. Most nodded their heads in agreement, although a few refused to meet his eyes.

"**SO** you think you can handle running TC without lil ol' us to help." Maya, a slender blonde X5 drawled, poison dripping from her words.

Now Alec wasn't so sure of the ground he stood on. "I didn't say that. I just said that there were less dangerous things you ladies could do to help out."

"Wow girls, they are going to let us **HELP**." Gem sneered from the back of the room.

Alec was taken aback. Gem was one of the quietest females in Terminal City. That she was this angry started to really worry him.

"You know what. You _guys_" Max spat the word "Think you can do so well without us. Let's see. From now on, you are on your own." Max stood and the rest of the females followed lead.

As they walked out Lia, an X4 in charge of medical hissed "I hope none of you boys get shot, there are no males in sickbay." Mole, her mate flinched.

The men were left in the warehouse they had been using as a meeting room alone. Alec looked around at them. "How did that go so wrong?" He wondered aloud.

End flashback

Since then Alec hadn't slept. He and Mole had been running all over TC trying to make sure it would keep afloat. Breakfast, lunch and dinner had been runny, burnt then undercooked respectively. Apparently none of the males had actually learned how to cook while outside Manticore. They finally had to resort to mac and cheese for all meals. Even that had come out disgusting.

Alec had to force X6s to run the nursery in addition to their clean up crews and he wasn't even going to start in on the Command center. Moira's leaving suddenly tore apart the schedules and Max's absence had taken Logan's help.

"I can't support your behavior Alec." Logan had said shaking his head. "What were you thinking?" He had cut the connection and hadn't answered since. Alec was sure it had to do with wanting to stay on Max's good side.

Mole had grumbled about "not needing dumb ordinaries to help anyway". Then moments later when Alec had informed Mole his precious cigars were coordinated through said ordinary Mole's eyes had bugged. He stamped out his cigar and started rationing tightly.

Alec removed his clothes and cracked his neck side to side. He pulled on Gem's dress that Dalton had brought and looked in the mirror. "Crap! It's too short!" He swore. He could see his boxers below the dress. He tried pulling them up but it didn't work to hide them. He wasn't a brief man so this was all he had. Biggs chose that minute to come back in with a wig he had found. "Here man," Then he burst out laughing "Um snort I don't think purple is your chuckle color." Alec snatched the wig and glared.

"Hey it's too short." Biggs observed.

"Ya think?" Alec shot back.

"You are going to have to take the boxers off."

"What? No way" Alec gasped.

"It's the only dress we could find Alec. We are running short on time." Biggs handed the a com unit and camera to Alec. "Take them off and hurry. We'll see you in a few downstairs."

Biggs left the room and met Dalton in the hall. "Did you get the wide lens like I told you?" The boy nodded.

"But I thought Alec said you couldn't take pictures of his face." The boy replied confused.

Biggs' grinned "Yea but he didn't say MOLE couldn't."

Alec hurriedly took off the boxers, put on the wig and shoes. As he teetered down the hall, nearly breaking his ankle, he swore continuously, some were even in English.

"Damn it. My toes are numb, my arch is killing me and this dress is too tight around my ass. Who is going to believe I'm a female with an ass like this? And seriously how am I supposed to walk and not run the stupid nylons you made me wear?" Alec complained as they dropped him off.

He was on the corner of Euclid and Servon. It was one of the shadier districts in the city. One that Senator Crane liked to frequent and pick up hookers. Senator Crane was outspoken in the favor of killing and sterilizing transgenics. His whole persona was depicted as a family oriented man with strong moral fiber. But the transgenics knew otherwise. Alec was going to prove the good Senator as the fraud he was in an effort to help defend themselves politically.

Originally it had been Shawna, and X5 with dark black hair and blue eyes, who was going to do this run before Alec's little mistake the other day. Now the job fell to him. After ten minutes Alec swore he was going to apologize to the females the first chance he got, even if he had to go door to door.

The job went off as well as could be expected. He waited for about an hour before the Senator's car pulled up. Alec had leaned over the car and got in before the man got a good look at him.

Mole clicked away, getting a great shot of both men's faces and chuckled evilly. "How's the audio and video coming in from Alec's purse Dix?" He asked.

"Great." Came the reply.

"Did you know Princess decided to go commando with that dress?" Mole said disgusted.

There was shocked silence at the other end for a moment. "Um, no, and didn't really want to know either."

"I got pictures."

"Ew."

The next afternoon Mole called an all trangenics meeting. He stood before them and gestured for quiet. "Ladies we heartily apologize for our stupidity. We need you, plain and simple." The males nodded in agreement. Weary looks on their faces attested to their struggle while the women had staged their coup.

"You think a simple apology is going to make things better?" Lia demanded, one scaly brow lifting.

"No and that is why we have a little peace offering." He gestured for Biggs to start the projector. Seconds later the interior of Alec's bedroom appeared on the wall of the warehouse and a moment after that Alec walked in to the camera's view. _Wearing Gem's dress._

Shock and horror played across Alec's face as Biggs thumped him on the back. "Sorry man, we had to give them something."

Alec looked over at Max who had tears coming out of her eyes from laughing so hard. She raised her hand after a moment.

"Hey, where can I get stills? Seriously I'll pay, you want cigars Mole? I know where I can get Cubans…"

Mole looked at her thoughtfully….

"Hey Alec!" Gem called "Next time I'll lend you the earrings that go with that dress!"

The end.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A/N: This was going to be a one shot deal but after a reviewer put some ideas in my head, it kind of wrote itself.

Alec flopped back onto his bed and sighed deeply. He threw one arm over his eyes and groaned at the memory of his day. It had started bright and early with him walking into his bathroom that he shared with Max and seeing a small makeup case on his sink with a note in Original Cindy's handwriting.

Alec-

After seeing the pictures Max showed me we decided you are really more of a fall boo than a winter. These colors should bring out your eyes more.

OC

Alec had wanted to smash the little case into the wall. He showered quickly as cold water was not his thing and got out only to find his blue towel gone and a pink one in its place. Gritting his teeth, he wrapped the towel around his waist and walked into the living room. Max was not home, this wasn't unusual, however it would have been nice to "thank" her properly.

He yanked his closet open to find his clothes and shoes gone. However, there were tank tops, miniskirts, and heels, not to mention a dress that looked suspiciously like it belonged in a wedding replacing his clothes.

Alec slammed the door and walked into the hall mumbling "Ha-ha very funny. Max is so dead." He banged on Biggs' door and pushed past his friend when he answered. He marched into Biggs closet and angrily grabbed a shirt and jeans. Next he took Biggs' sneakers and was pulling them on when Biggs' asked "Dude, don't you have your own clothes?"

Alec shot him a death glare. "NO, I don't have MY clothes because MAX decided to help me dress from now on." Then without warning, Alec punched Biggs in the face.

"Damn Alec what was that for?" Biggs whined holding his face.

"It's not 200 hundred, but it's a start." He said darkly. Without another word he walked out and marched to the command center.

When he got there he immediately wanted to open the gates to TC and hand the keys to Ames White himself.

There were pictures everywhere. Some of them were when he had leaned over the good Senator's car and was _in a very compromising situation._ And to make it all better the moment he stepped in the door people who had been laughing turned to look at him and laugh even more. Then he heard it. His conversation with the Senator was playing over the loudspeakers. He turned to Dix who winced and said "I had to they were going to make us cook for a month."

He didn't need to ask who she was. He walked by everyone to his office, pretending that it wasn't his voice speaking falsetto and bargaining with the Senator for "a good time". He grabbed his mug from his desk and filled it with coffee. He turned to see Mole laughing through the doorway. He looked down to see his Rambo mug had been replaced by one with the Mrs. Webster's dictionary declaring that high heels were created by a man and were made to torture lawns.

He sighed, then decided today couldn't get much worse he drank deeply wishing that his coffee was a bit Irish this morning.

Lunch…

Alec had hid in his office all day and now ventured out for lunch. Between command and the lunch all he had received comments from both male and female alike.

"Really Alec twenty bucks? That's only enough to buy a gallon of gas let alone a piece of.."

"Honey, you sold yourself short, really take my word for it." This was from Sierra, or was it Ticee, hmm he would have to look her up later.

"Dude, I don't care what they teach you in Manticore, they would have had to put me in isolation for months before I would have put that on." That was Mark. He'd have to remind him exactly why 494 had been the top soldier at Mantiore.

Having had enough ribbing, he took his food to go and sat on his bed shoveling in food quickly. He was supposed to oversee this afternoon's cleanup crew on Pine Street and he didn't want to be late. He finished quickly and stood to retrieve his shoes.

"Damn it! What the HELL!" he looked down to see what he had stepped on.

It was an earring.

……..

After Alec had spent six hours cleaning out another building he had flopped himself into his present position too tired to do anything else. His back and feet were killing him.

Worse yet, his legs itched like hell with razor burn.


End file.
